First of all I would like to let you know that I have been vegetarian for one year (actually I started long before then I stopped because of the many arguments that kept running in my head until ultimately I just let them fuck off); and recently Vegan… YEYYYYYY!
I always considered myself as someone with a very low willpower Like whatever if I want something let me just get it, why should I even resist? This was applied to everything, food, sexual relations. However; at the time I also ignored the side of me that was compassionate, sensitive and empathetic. These for me were weaknesses that I had to overcome; weaknesses that I had to ignore because I should be more careless and not give a fuck, be a strong woman, and again we are all going to die anyway? no? YOLO! just do whatever makes you happy and that’s it!
As surprising as that might be, the truth is, that did not really make me happy.
What made me happy was to reconnect with who I really was, to reconnect with my sensitive compassionate part of me.
So anyway, (sorry I got a bit confused as I started this text yesterday and left it to finish it today) me who never had enough willpower to say no to food and also to casual sex, found myself filled with a great power to say no to meat, to poultry, to eggs, to cow milk, to honey, to leather ect…
I could say no to that because I was standing for a cause, because this made me happy to feel that I am actually helping out just by changing my daily habits, changing my food choices and eventually discovering a whole new perspective of things.
Now let me get back to why I am writing this post today… I could stop eating meat for environmental and ethical reasons: not to harm the environment and to stand against animal cruelty… Why don’t I have the willpower to stop eating that much and lose weight for the simple fact that I love myself and I don’t want to hurt my body…
I’ve been up and down in the scale for many years. I have varicose veins, I did an operation in my uterus and the doctor told me that I should not gain weight or the problem will come again….
I am ready to help everyone, I don’t understand why I cannot help myself and fuel my willpower to do so. I need to love myself and to start losing weight for ethical reasons which is destroying my own self!
The road and process to becoming vegan taught me and is still teaching me many things, most importantly that old habits cannot disappear for one day to another, but one thing that can make them change easier is to believe. To believe in the change you want to make. I believed and was convinced that I should not take part in animal cruelty and this fueled my willpower to a point I don’t even have to use it anymore. I am not tempted. I believed in my change and my cause.
I hope that today is the continuity, the beginning of another continuity of my better self for the love of myself.
Peace, love and go vegan!