Family fears and Questions

Well, here I come today again with my new fears.

How will we manage to have a family.

I have many questions to ask him specially if he remains in this job:

  • Are you assuming already that I will have to be the one who has to spend most of her time with the kids?
    • My answer: how I see it is a half half role. I do not see myself as the only responsible of the family free time. Unless we both decide I stop working and I take care of the children (an option that I do not want). And I do not see myself home with a big tummy or children while you don’t have time for us until 10pm.
  • While your business travels, do you still plan to stay with girls in the same apartment?
    • My answer: It will never be something easy for me, even if I trust you. You remember when I was out with JS, even if you trusted me you could not stop yourself from imagining bad scenarios. And it is normal. If you take the decision of continuing in this system, you will make my life hard and consequently yours also.
  • During my pregnancies, do you think you can promise to make it a peaceful pregnancy from your part? Will I be able to count on you? Will you make me a priority during this time?
    • My answer: I need you to be sure of your answer, I have seen my cousin’s pregnancy, and it was always her brother and her parents who were accompanying her to the doctor taking her emergencies. I know my family will always be there but I want to do this road with you, because what will be inside of me is yours as it is mine, same same. I need to feel that you will not put money or your work before my doctors visits before my health troubles before my need of attention. I want healthy babies.
  • If you open your own business, are you planning to travel for long periods with coordinadoras. Just a team of two?   You will have to socialize and go for beers while I have to stay home with the kids?

I beg you to take this seriously. To take your time to reply so I can see how you visualize things. I think it is important at this stage to know how we expect our lives to be. Family are not an additional accessory in our life, it is a life choice a life decision. And I think it is important to know how each of us visualize his/her role in the family as a husband/wife father/mother and the things we can accept and the things we cannot.

Eating Pomegranate and thinking about Marriage

I am sitting here eating pomegranate as part of my detox diet for this week. Yes doing detox after  I went a bit too far from my discipline goals and objectives.

But it is fine here I go again. While cutting the pomegranate (buff I make a mistake every time I type it) I was thinking about my university classes; where our beautiful teacher explained to us that one fruit can be made of many flowers. I think the pomegranate is one of those fruits that have so many flowers. Might sound boring for you but me I find it amazing!

Marriage…what is this thing that we are brainwashed into since we are kid, I mean not really brainwashed, it is like school, university blablabla, bureaucratic papers and events of this life.

Well my current partner and I are thinking about getting married. Although we are both on the same page, we have different cultural background and most importantly ….he has been married before so he sees this marriage as just an institutional event that we have to pass through,  I see it like an important step in my life that I want to celebrate.

We discussed about it yesterday, all he could say is what he did not want.. this was a bit frustrating. So the conversation ended.

I can understand his situation, but it is making me wonder about life in general. I mean if we have to be grown ups and serious all the time and detached, where is the fun? where are the emotions ?

Negotiations are still ongoing.. and I am still filling my hands with red juice from the pomegranate. I should probably think about going to work too…

About diet and healthy life, I am up to the challenge again, I gained 3 kilos in 17 days, this is sad but not a catastrophe. Let’s do it again ! Detox week and then back to the gym!