Waiting to go to the airport. And this time, maybe because of my pregnancy, I am really scared of the plane. On my way here, I really had a panic attack. I wasn’t really proud of myself, but well what can I do? I tried to control it, but the plane wouldn’t stop moving. Hopefully going back now, and knowing that the plane will be shaky will make me more prepared.
The thing is, like most of the people I guess, is that I don’t want to die alone. In a way death is a lonely road, but I prefer it in a familiar place. We all are going to die anyway and after we are gone it won’t matter anymore how and when we died and what our lives would have been. It wouldn’t matter at all.
I am pregnant now, in happy stage of my life and I have always felt that i can’t be happy for too long. So I get more scared to not be able to see the face of my little one, the one I am carrying with so much love.
And also I am so aware of the fact, that what we think might happen to everyone but not us is just a feeling and actually anything that happens to other can happen to us.
Well I will be leaving to the airport shuttle in a bit, should arrive home by 10h30. Let’s see how it goes :).